The History
Raoul Moat, being 10 days on the run after killing his ex-girlfriend and her new partner and then shooting a police officer, was eventually found and cornered in a small parkland area. Moat was armed with a shotgun and from time to time, held the shotgun to his head as if he were about to commit suicide. Police, armed with handguns, MP5 sub-machine guns and Tasers stood 20 feet away, waiting for their instructions. The area was cleared of all civilians.
The Action
The first the general public heard of this was on the TV. On ITV, a famous newsreader was ‘at the scene, just yards away from the events unfolding’. We were given some interesting snippets of information to keep the suspense high: “We can’t be completely sure, but he is either sitting down, or crouching down” our intrepid newsreader told us. Well! I’m sure our eyes were absolutely glued to the screen and there must have been thousands of people up and down the country all wondering if this multiple killer was sitting or crouching.
“Ethel dear, do you really think he would be crouching down for all that time?”
“Well, Maude, perhaps he didn’t want to sit down on the grass and risk getting pneumonia if it was damp. Is there anymore tea in the pot dear?”
Then finally, we heard some real news! Police had provided Moat with refreshments as he was hungry and thirsty and the poor soul was suffering.
Perhaps I should re-phrase that to remain fair: The multiple killer was hungry and thirsty.
Can you imagine the thought processes of whoever decided to provide refreshments? Were they provided to Moat to avoid subsequent criticism? -
Then finally, we heard some real news! Police had provided Moat with refreshments as he was hungry and thirsty and the poor soul was suffering.
Perhaps I should re-phrase that to remain fair: The multiple killer was hungry and thirsty.
Can you imagine the thought processes of whoever decided to provide refreshments? Were they provided to Moat to avoid subsequent criticism? -
“Do you know Ethel; the police never fed that multiple killer when they had surrounded him”. The shock and horror of it all!
Have we all become so frightened of human rights and not being PC that we feel obligated to provide refreshments to a killer who is surrounded by police and who won’t give himself up? Will there now be a ‘Siege Buffet Truck’ to ensure any killers, terrorists or axe murderers are fed and watered whilst the police attempt to arrest them, just in case they might be suffering?
And while they were at it, what about the fact that Moat may have not wanted to sit on the potentially damp grass? Did the Chief Constable consult his ‘Blanket Deployment Division’ to ensure they were ready in case Moat did actually want to sit down and needed a blanket? It’s not hard to imagine John Cleese as one of his Python characters being in charge of the police in this saga:
“Constable! Have the Blanket Deployment Division been put on emergency alert? Yes? Jolly good Constable. Excellent work!”
At one point we heard that an eye witness had reported that she was in her house and “a lot of marksmen had come in from the back”. I’ll leave it to you to decide the relevance of that information.
But all was not lost, dear reader. There was an ‘ace’ about to be played that would completely resolve the situation… possibly.
Gazza turned up.
Gazza (Paul Gascoigne for non-football fans like me) knew Moat from his days of nightclubbing and boozing (although how he remembered him when he was always drunk off his head is beyond me). Moat was a bouncer at a club Gazza frequented.”I just want to give him some therapy and say. 'Come on Moaty, it's Gazza” mumbled Gazza, who had thoughtfully bought his friend (the multiple killer) some lager and chicken. Apparently Gazza hadn’t realised the police Siege Buffet Truck had already been brought in. After signing autographs for some children, Gazza decided he had done his bit for his friend and society and left.
The end of the saga was inevitable: Moat shot himself. But it could have been very different. Why were they so cautious when they had surrounded Moat? It could have easily ended with Moat shooting more people until he himself was shot down. Would they all still be there if Moat hadn’t shot himself? Would they be hoping he would just fall asleep? Would the staff in the Siege Buffet Truck be on the phone to Harrods requesting breakfast be flown in?
There have been some excellent jokes as the saga continued to unfold and sink lower into madness. People have also expressed their sadness for the families of those who were killed. But isn't it now time to inject some common sense into the way our country responds to situations such as these? All it would have taken was for one of the many police officers to have Tasered Moat and that would have been the end of it. He would be in custody and the due process of the law would take place. But the police are wary of taking such action in case they are themselves charged with assault. It is complete madness! Isn't it?
Sometimes I really do feel that I’m on the wrong planet.
With thanks to @iEmma_ for the ‘Deploy the drunken footballer’ quote
Have we all become so frightened of human rights and not being PC that we feel obligated to provide refreshments to a killer who is surrounded by police and who won’t give himself up? Will there now be a ‘Siege Buffet Truck’ to ensure any killers, terrorists or axe murderers are fed and watered whilst the police attempt to arrest them, just in case they might be suffering?
And while they were at it, what about the fact that Moat may have not wanted to sit on the potentially damp grass? Did the Chief Constable consult his ‘Blanket Deployment Division’ to ensure they were ready in case Moat did actually want to sit down and needed a blanket? It’s not hard to imagine John Cleese as one of his Python characters being in charge of the police in this saga:
“Constable! Have the Blanket Deployment Division been put on emergency alert? Yes? Jolly good Constable. Excellent work!”
At one point we heard that an eye witness had reported that she was in her house and “a lot of marksmen had come in from the back”. I’ll leave it to you to decide the relevance of that information.
But all was not lost, dear reader. There was an ‘ace’ about to be played that would completely resolve the situation… possibly.
Gazza turned up.
Gazza (Paul Gascoigne for non-football fans like me) knew Moat from his days of nightclubbing and boozing (although how he remembered him when he was always drunk off his head is beyond me). Moat was a bouncer at a club Gazza frequented.”I just want to give him some therapy and say. 'Come on Moaty, it's Gazza” mumbled Gazza, who had thoughtfully bought his friend (the multiple killer) some lager and chicken. Apparently Gazza hadn’t realised the police Siege Buffet Truck had already been brought in. After signing autographs for some children, Gazza decided he had done his bit for his friend and society and left.
The end of the saga was inevitable: Moat shot himself. But it could have been very different. Why were they so cautious when they had surrounded Moat? It could have easily ended with Moat shooting more people until he himself was shot down. Would they all still be there if Moat hadn’t shot himself? Would they be hoping he would just fall asleep? Would the staff in the Siege Buffet Truck be on the phone to Harrods requesting breakfast be flown in?
There have been some excellent jokes as the saga continued to unfold and sink lower into madness. People have also expressed their sadness for the families of those who were killed. But isn't it now time to inject some common sense into the way our country responds to situations such as these? All it would have taken was for one of the many police officers to have Tasered Moat and that would have been the end of it. He would be in custody and the due process of the law would take place. But the police are wary of taking such action in case they are themselves charged with assault. It is complete madness! Isn't it?
Sometimes I really do feel that I’m on the wrong planet.
With thanks to @iEmma_ for the ‘Deploy the drunken footballer’ quote
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